A cunning plan snares a girl with a glint in her eye.
Everyone said Rosetta was perverse, and I could see why. Only ‘perverse’ wasn’t the word I’d have used; I’d have said ‘fascinating’. She seemed driven to break petty rules. It was some sort of compulsion. It wasn’t that she was malicious, or even obnoxious; quite the contrary: Rosetta was, in all matters important, conscientious and altruistic. It was just that if the boss said she had to have something in no later than noon, Rosetta would deliberately turn it in at 12.10. She would sit at her desk, beginning at around quarter to twelve, with the assignment efficiently completed and professionally assembled in front of her, and watch the clock, intentionally waiting till enough time had elapsed that her tardiness would be unmistakable. The brilliance in her eyes as she sat there watching the minute hand was riveting to me. I could swear she was aroused by what she was doing.
And this was only one of countless examples. If the boss asked her to staple Form A on top of Form B, Rosetta would do the opposite. If it was supposed to be her turn to make coffee on Tuesday, she’d cheerfully make it on Monday instead. If a door was labelled, ‘Please use other door’, she would, if humanly possible, wrestle the wrong door open. All her actions in this vein were painstakingly premeditated, as she wilfully actualised herself into precious little perversities. And whenever I observed one of these trivial acts of transgression, I always had the same feeling – that her compulsion was directly connected to a sexual wire. This was why, where her behaviour would otherwise have seemed pointless and mildly annoying, it was in fact alluring. And though my own tendency was to follow rules, seeing Rosetta’s face flush with mischievous delight over her latest infraction always made me want to fuck her, right in her cubicle – which would, I concede, have violated one or two rules in itself.
Operation Rebel
You’ve probably gathered by now that I was smitten. But over the years I’d learned to dread asking co-workers out, despite the fact I’d had my share of yesses. There was always just something about the awkward formality of the setup that made me feel like the relationship was starting off on the wrong foot. Sometimes it recovered, sometimes it never really got going; but either way I was eager to avoid this stage entirely. And the more fascinated I became with Rosetta, the more I was determined to approach her in some less conventional manner. I wanted to seduce her with something intrinsically fun – something that would do justice to the erotic sparkle in her expression – rather than wading through a dreary dating scenario in the hope that fun and seduction would eventually emerge. Then I had a brainwave: I’d entice Rosetta with a series of perverted, inverted opportunities that she – and only she – couldn’t resist. Like many great thinkers before me, I elected to work backwards. Sitting at the desk in my apartment on a Sunday afternoon, I made some notes, beginning with the desired ending, which I called ‘Goal Z’:
Goal Z: Rosetta is in my bed.
Strategy: Tell Rosetta she can make herself at home in my flat, but the bedroom is off-limits.
Side note: Vacuum bedroom this week.
I was reasonable enough to admit that tempting Rosetta into my bedroom was not tantamount to fucking her. But I was comfortable taking my chances that – if she saw anything in me at all – one thing would lead to another. I continued to work backwards:
Goal Y: Rosetta is in my apartment.
Strategy: Bring Rosetta to the door of my building (ostensibly so I can run up and feed the cat), but insist that on no account should she come upstairs with me.
Side note: Acquire a cat.
So far so good. Well, except for the part about the cat – I really wasn’t a cat person. But after thinking about this a little more, I decided all I really had to do was acquire food and water dishes and a litter box. I could have one of those shy cats that you never saw.
The next step backwards was more challenging. How could I use reverse – or rather perverse – psychology to entice Rosetta into wandering around town with me, without resorting to a structured date? Then I remembered that I had a friend in upper management…
All Systems Go
Part of my deal with Mark – which had cost me two rounds of beers – was that he would make sure to do his bit while I was within earshot. I put my headphones on, but kept my music switched off.
“Rosetta,” I heard him say right after lunch on Friday, “I need you to do some fieldwork this afternoon. You’ll have to get started immediately. It’s going to take you the rest of the day, and you’ll need someone to assist you. Take anyone you like.” I heard him begin to walk away, very convincingly.
“Oh,” he said then, as if having a sudden afterthought. “Correction: You can take anyone but Eric. I may want him for something else today.”
I pretended to be absorbed in my work, while I waited for Rosetta’s inevitable appearance at my shoulder. It didn’t take long.
“Hey, Eric,” she said. “Wanna get out of here for the rest of the day?” Her tone was casual, but I could detect the undercurrent of excitement. I played dumb, avoiding the complication of pretending that I, too, was breaking the rules.
I slipped my headphones off. “What’s up? I’ve been in my own little world here.”
“I’ll explain to you on the way,” she said briefly. “Get your coat.” I nodded, privately relishing the bratty glint in her eye.
The questionnaires Mark had given her were authentic. The project kept the two of us busy until after 6pm, by which time we’d conveniently arrived in my neighbourhood. It had been heaven spending all afternoon with Rosetta, watching her face become radiant whenever she crossed against the light or gained entry to a business whose sign said ‘Closed’. By then end, I was deliciously horny from the cumulative experience of sharing in her thrills. As we walked down my block, en route to the nearest tube entrance, I made my move.
“Hey, this is my building. Do you mind if I pop upstairs for a minute?”
“You live here?” she said. “Well, fuck, why don’t you just call it a day? I can take these surveys back.”
“Oh, I have to go back into town anyway,” I lied. “Meeting some friends later on. But I need to feed the cat.”
“Okay. Let’s go, then,” said Rosetta.
I faked an uncomfortable expression. “Actually, I hope you don’t mind waiting here. I just have this rule that I never invite anyone up to the flat if I haven’t had chance to clean it first. I’ll just be a sec.”
On the word rule, the spark of defiance had registered in her eyes. “That’s silly. Come on – I don’t care if your place looks like a dump.”
“But…” I feinted.
“Stop it, Eric. We don’t have all night.” Little did she know.
Target Acquired
When we got up there, I tried to act like I knew what I was doing as far as feeding an unseen cat was concerned. Then I moved to the next step.
“Er, would you mind terribly if I took care of a couple of other things? It won’t take me long, and it would be much better than trying to deal with them later tonight, after a few beers.” I looked at my watch. “We still have more than enough time to get the surveys back.”
She shrugged. “Fine with me.”
“Thanks, Rosetta. Please, make yourself at home while I putter around. Just… um…” Again I feigned awkwardness.
She was instantly intrigued. “Just what?”
“Just, uh, don’t go in the bedroom.” I pointed toward the closed door.
“Why? Do you have a naked woman in there?” she joked.
Not yet, I thought. “No, it’s only that… “
But her hand was already on the knob. I followed her in. She looked around at an ordinary, recently-vacuumed bedroom.
“What’s the big deal, Eric? Why didn’t you want me to come in here?” she asked.
“Who says I didn’t?” She was standing at the foot of my bed, and I walked forward to join her.
“But out there…“
“Out there I asked you not to go in. I didn’t say I didn’t want you to…” I stopped. I’d expected to be awfully pleased with myself at this point. And yet I couldn’t help feeling that somehow, in a way I couldn’t put my finger on, Rosetta had been in control of this situation from the start.
Abort! Abort!
She burst out laughing. “Oh, for fuck’s sake, Eric. I suppose you think that just because you’ve managed to exploit my compulsive behaviour, I’m going to go to bed with you?”
“Er, no, that wasn’t…”
“Do you have any idea how many guys have tried to seduce me with some version of this same stupid plan?”
“Oh.”
“Don’t you think I can tell when I’m being manipulated?”
“Oh.”
She was unbuttoning her blouse. I had to blink to make sure I wasn’t imagining it. “I suppose you think I’m going to get undressed, right now, and let you touch me all over?” Now the skirt was on its way down.
“…that, for example, I’m going to come over there, and straddle your face, and let you lick my hot pussy till I come and come? Is that what you think?”
I felt like an idiot, and then some.
“I don’t understand. If you knew it was a stupid trick – and not even an original one – why did you go along with it?”
She was no longer laughing. “Maybe this time I wanted to,” she said huskily. And, in another instant, her knickers were on the floor and she was on my mouth.
“Mmmph.” My response was delivered into the smothering paradise of her snatch.
“Yeah, maybe this time the guy was cute enough that I didn’t resent the dorky trick,” she said, bouncing. “Maybe this time… ohhhh,” she continued. And continued. And continued, till she was clamping my head so tightly between her thighs that I could hear the rush of the ocean in my ears. Enclosed by her, my whole world became the writhing, unruly pussy on the tip of my tongue. I made love to it till it screamed juice onto me, and I drank every drop. When she rolled off me, we were both sort of surprised to observe that I was still dressed. I nodded toward the bulge in my trousers.
“Now, whatever you do,” I said, “don’t touch my cock…”
“Oh, of course not,” she purred, giving the organ in question an ultra-light caress through the fabric that enclosed it. “I wouldn’t dream of breaking your ‘Don’t touch my cock’ rule.” With a nimble gracefulness, she unzipped me. “Like this, for instance.”
The sensation of her hand clasping my aching rod was heavenly.
“You know,” Rosetta said softly as she stroked me, “I have a rule of my own.”
“You . . . do?” I panted, as I twitched delectably in her grip.
“Uh-huh. No one is allowed to come in my pussy.” With one hand still holding my throbbing flesh, she grabbed something from atop my bed stand – a condom.
She encased me and, in another instant, mounted my lap and absorbed me into her warmth. My cock wriggled happily as her tender, slippery flesh kissed it on all sides.
Rosetta leaned forward and looked me in the face, challenging me with her impish eyes as she gyrated me closer to ecstasy. “Remember, Eric, no coming in my – ummm – pussy.”
I was wild with pleasure, and she knew it. She was wrapped around me so tightly that I couldn’t have pulled out if she’d wanted me to. And the blissful, hazy look in her eyes told me she didn’t want me to.
“Oh, fuck,” I whined gleefully, “I can’t take any more. I’m coming.”
Rosetta laughed, shrieked, and bounced ever more furiously as she came along with me.
“Oh, well,” she commented upon collapsing. “Looks like we’re both as bad as each other.”
