Love him to bits but wish his bedroom game was a bit… sharper? Don’t worry — you’re not alone. Great lovers aren’t born, they’re trained — and who better to teach him than you? Whether he’s a one-trick pony, stuck in a lazy sex rut, or just missing your most crucial buttons, these 10 tips will turn him from average to absolutely filthy fabulous.
And the best part? You can teach him without hurting his ego, and make sure he thinks it was all his idea. Ready to turn your man into your perfect lover? Let class begin.
Rule 1: Praise be
Before you relegate a man to the bad shag pile, suss out whether external factors are causing his poor performance. Lack of confidence is the number one villain. Boost his bedroom confidence by gushing about how sexy he is and giving him credit every time he does something right.
Hot sex booster: Get pornographic with your praise – tell him how much you like him to “fuck you hard”, if that’s what you really want, then watch him go like a jack hammer.
Rule 2: De-stress
Stress and tiredness are also sexual downers, and stress relief techniques lead to better sex so help him relax by encouraging him to talk about what’s getting him wound up. Also offer to give him a sensual full body massage, avoiding the genitals, unless you see him rise to attention.
Hot sex booster: Use aromatherapy oil such as geranium or chamomile, diluted in carrier oil, for treating stress – you’ll also benefit as you inhale the scent.
Rule 3: Fit hit
Excess weight, poor diet, drugs and alcohol are all on the sex party-pooper list as well. Try planning healthy meals together; ban takeaways and wine for a month and see how much better you feel; try living up to the Government’s recommended five fresh fruit and veg a day (which was originally meant to be set at 10, but the Government didn’t want to scare us with wildly unattainable portions of broccoli); take a multi-vitamin and mineral pill; and try to get eight hours sleep every day. If he’s having trouble knocking the drugs and/or alcohol on the head, lay down the libido law by abstaining when he’s inebriated – he’ll soon get the message!
Hot sex booster: Encourage him to shape up by exercising with him – it’s less boring when you have someone to do it with.
Rule 4: Come prepared
You wouldn’t plan a birthday bash without booze, nibbles and music, so don’t neglect the preparations for your own private sex party. Prep your pad with the five ‘S’s – soft tunes, silky sheets, scented candles, sweet food and sex toys. Setting the mood lets him know you’re up for a good time and will prompt him to put in some extra effort to make it last.
Hot sex booster: Make sure your sex toys are smaller than his manhood, otherwise he may feel a little, er, little..
Rule 5: Give him a guided tour
Blindfold him and tie his hands behind his back so he has to navigate your body with his tongue. Ask him to show you where you most like to be kissed on your legs by using his tongue. Dab honey, chocolate sauce or jam on your hot spots, so he’s rewarded with sweet eats when he comes across the right areas. Next ask him where you like to be kissed on your bottom, breasts, arms, neck, face, back and stomach. Each time he’ll learn not only where your hot zones are, but that there are several of them all over your body and not just in the obvious places, as some men tend to assume.
Hot sex booster: After your tasting game, ask him to blindfold you and lick you randomly, so you can’t see where he’s going next – the anticipation will increase the sensitivity in your skin, making this an uber thrill.
Rule 6: Pole position
Every penis is different, so just because an ex-boyfriend used to give you out-of-body orgasms when he was on top, doesn’t mean every man will. You need to experiment with positions to find out which ones grind his pubic bone into your clitoris and, if none of them do, which ones allow you access to your clitoris so you (or he) can stroke it when you have sex.
Hot sex booster: “One day my boyfriend entered me from behind while I was flat on my stomach,” says Leanne, 27. “Being hard against the mattress added extra friction that was out-of-control amazing.”
Rule 7: Grrr-spot
Most women can’t even find their own G-spots, so it’s unfair to expect a man to be able to do it without some guidance. If you think he’s hit the spot, a timely, “Oh, yes, that’s it!” can mean the difference between “almost…” and “Ohmigod!”. And if you’re too shy to give directions, just groan louder in correlation to the amount of pleasure you’re feeling.
Hot sex booster: Don’t fake orgasms – you’ll just confuse him.”
Rule 8: Boost his imagination
Is your man as sexually imaginative as a gnat? Make a deal that each of you has to bring one new move to the bedroom every week.
Hot sex booster: Need more ideas? Visit Sexpertise and check out more sex ideas….
Rule 9: The appraisal
No matter how full-on your moaning was, follow up a session by letting him know exactly what he did right. Whisper in his ear, “I loved the way you did that…” or “I’d like to try that again”.
Hot sex booster: Keep a sex diary. After each great session, write down exactly what you did in detail and then re-read it whenever your libido (or his ego) needs a boost.
Rule 10: Order home delivery
The day after an amazing session, keep the afterglow burning by sending your man one text in the morning and one in the afternoon, both detailing what you’d like him to do to you when you next see him, and (if you know you can trust him) send him a picture text of you in the work toilets with your hands down your knickers as a teaser.
Hot sex booster: Keep your face out of the shot as it’s sexier (and not that we don’t trust blokes or anything…).
Read our sex toy reviews for more improvement techniques.
