Lesbian lessons in lust can help make any sex life that little bit more…well, Saphically saucy. Here’s how…
Famous sexpert Alfred Kinsey once noted that 78% of lesbians had orgasms between 60% and 100% of their sexual encounters, while only 55% of straight married women reported hitting the high notes. The suggestion is that girl-on-girl action is more rewarding for women than straight sex. So what are the girls doing between the sheets that men aren’t? We went under(the)cover with our gay gal pals to find out…
Lesbian Lesson #1: Ready, Steady… Wait!
“Having been with both men and women I can say first-hand that there are many differences in how men and women have sex,” says lesbian Emily* 27, from London. “The main difference is that a woman’s main goal isn’t penetration. Nine times out of ten, I’ve found women don’t climax from penetration.” In fact, a report from sex educator Shere Hite stated that only a third of women could climax through penetration alone. Heterosexuals can learn a lot from this; it’s not just about getting a penis inside you and thrusting! Delay penetration as long as possible during your next session. Suck his lips; have him massage your inner thighs; lick his nipples; keep your knickers on and ask him to stroke you through them – that way you’ll have a barrier to help you resist temptation. “The longer you play around,” says Emily “the better the orgasm will be – trust me!”
Lesbian Lesson #2: Get It Licked…
Gay women tend to be more generous than men when it comes to giving oral sex, claims bisexual, Karen, 34, from Brighton. “We spend more time down, and as a result develop more techniques to play with.” When going down on a woman, Karen uses a butt plug for anal penetration, while massaging her partner’s vagina by hand and stimulating the clit with her tongue, for what she calls a howler. “It creates the loudest orgasm you’ll ever hear,” guarantees Karen.
Kathryn Hoyle of women’s erotic emporium Sh! – the UK’s first sex store owned and run by women – has another suggestion. “This technique is about building pressure around the clitoris to deliver the ultimate orgasm,” she explains. “Get your bloke to lie perpendicular to you, then, gently pull back the hood of your clit. The key is to lick under the clit, not on it. When he feels you nearing orgasm, he should use his free hand to put pressure on your perineum (the bit of skin between vagina and anus), then simultaneously focus his tongue directly on to your clit and bang! Orgasm central!”
Lesbian Lesson #3: Throw Away The Rule Book
Famous sex educator, Shere Hite once said, “What’s ‘different’ about sexual relations between women is precisely that there isn’t one institutionalised way of having them, so they can be as inventive and individual as the people involved.” Think about it: do you follow a format in your straight lovemaking? Are you likely to start with kissing, move onto a little foreplay, and then conclude with penetration? If the answer’s yes, it’s time to rip up the rules subconsciously ingrained in your hetero psyche and mess with your head (and hopefully your sheets, too!).
Experiment by writing the names of body parts you like to have touched on pieces of paper, then put the papers into a bag and draw out three of them. Ask your partner to touch those areas in the order they were drawn out. It brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘lucky dip’.
Lesbian Lesson #4: Rub A Dub Dub
‘Tribadism’ is the term for a lesbian sex move that you’ll be gutted you didn’t know about earlier. Sh! spokeperson Kat gives us an introduction: “Tribadism is when two women rub pussies together. Slang terms, such as ‘bumping fur’ and ‘grinding beans’ no way describe the mind-blowing sexiness of a session of tribadism.”
As a hetero alternative, she suggests the following: position yourself on all fours over your bloke’s torso; lube up your clit and his hard-on with a good quality lubricant, and then, rather than have him penetrate you, keep his member flat on his pelvis and slide your clit up and down his shaft until your climaxes collide.
Lesbian Lesson #5: Rock’n’ride
Double-ended sex toys are most often seen in girl-on-girl sex scenes in porn films, but straight couples can enjoy them in a whole new way. The Dual Vibrating Flexi-Dong is a double-ended vibrating toy that can be flexed to reach both his G-spot and yours at the same time. To enjoy this penetrative pleasure, sit with your legs open in a V-shape, and then invite him to sit between your legs facing you, with his legs resting over yours. Your genitals should be close and you can prop up your backs with pillows for comfort if you need to.
Lubricate both ends of the toy, and then bend it to reach your G-spots. Get him to insert it anally, before you insert your end vaginally, and then rock back and forth together. If you can lean on one hand, use the other to masturbate each other for an experience that will truly rock your world.
Lesbian Lesson #6: Level Pegging
Marie, 40, from Sheffield, has had both male and female partners. She says, “One tip I would like to share is ‘pegging’. Basically it’s a term for when a woman uses a strap-on. So to start, slip into a strap-on, liberally apply lube to the dildo attachment, and then penetrate your man nice and slowly. His prostate gland will be stimulated by the strap-on, and he may want to give himself a helping hand-job, or he may orgasm without any penile stimulation at all.”
Kat from Sh! says, “Traditionally viewed as a wholly lesbian sex toy, nowadays over 40 percent of strap-ons made by Sh! are sold to girl/guy couples. Guys are discovering the pleasures of their prostates and straight couples are benefiting from the joys of pegging.
*Name has been changed
